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Saturday, December 12, 2009

I need PEACE!

This might sound ridiculous but I just broke down to tears when my one year old boy hit me on my nose with my handphone. I cried not just because he hit me on my nose, but also because I'm too tired to listen to his constant screams, too stress to calm his tantrums, too exhausted to stay positive eventhough his driving me mad with his untamed behaviour and most probably I'm just too uncomfortable with my bulging belly. I'm 6 months into my pregnancy and I feel HUGE!

I admit that I could never be a supermom. With each child I thought I would be better as a mother. But, hey, I'm struggling each day to cater for their different needs and demands. Each child is just so different from the other. Sometimes I just wonder how I could ever go through another day with three kids and to expect another one is beyond me. Maybe this is my last pregnancy. I need to concentrate on myself and to give full attention to each child. Gosh! I just need my peace!

But on another thought, my life would not be same without them. I'm just so used to having them around that a day without them would be boring and worthless. I love them but I'm also annoyed. What to do?

10 comments:

  1. i have no experience to give you any advice but just wanna let you know that i can lend you my ears and eyes whenever you need them. it could be the fatigue of the pregnancy. your oneyearold might not know what he is doing. you are great. dun doubt that. just try to relax. it is still teh holidays after all

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  2. Oh dear tiee...
    u know..sometimes I do feel like that. U hv 3 kids and one coming so I can imagine ur feeling. I hv only one child but sometimes he makes me feeling so stress and sometimes I feel like going away for a while..but then I couldnt live without him..maybe we should go somewhere and hv our time eh...

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  3. annoyance is temporary

    A smile from SJ =)

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  4. I have only two and i can still have a meltdown. I think it's just natural that we give, give, give and eventually we'll run out of steam. You're a wonderful mum Betty and don't you forget that. Hugs! XXX

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  5. I have only one, and a maid, and sometimes my sister and mom to layan him, and yet I lose my temper sometimes as well especially when he's being demanding and hot tempered. You're a fantastic mom, but you have to remember that nobody is expecting you to be perfect. At this time, you might need to find alternatives, 'outsource' as my hubby says. Is there anyone who can take them to school or get them their meals once in a while when you feel overwhelmed. Now's the time to do frozen dinners and one pot meals, and try to find the time to put your feet up. Lock all the kids in a room with nothing but a mattress and their toys and/or TV and get power naps. Hang in there !Ashley

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  6. betty don't ever doubt yourself even a minute. like ashley said, nobody expects you to be perfect all the time. the fact that you're having the fourth tells me that you love your children more than anything in the world and you want them to have as much support as possible.

    i have seen and heard stories of child care and i know it's not easy even with just one, not to mention 3 and three quarter.

    hang in there and be patient.

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  7. we each have our meltdowns regardless - i agree that you need to seek some time out for yourself and not lose yourself to motherhood completely. If you can have an hour a day to yourself at least do simple things like take a walk, have some tea and read something...anything that doesn't involve children along. Its not selfish, it's taking a break till you regain some momentum to get back to your temperamental child. Leave him for a moment with someone, forget housechores and do something for urself ok hun. And forget abt being supermum. Noone can. Good luck betty. :)

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  8. Hi Betty,

    I have one dotter, and a maid. Cant imagine if I'm in your shoes,because eventhough most of the time my dotter with my maid while I'm working. Everytime I go home, she still want extra attention from me. Due to tiredness.. sometime I ignore and choose to scold her everytime she threw tantrum, everytime I ignore her cute yet annoying little act. Until one day she cried and say mummy, please dont angry with me, I will not kacau u tengok TV or work."

    On hearing that, I was so sad.. and cry the whole night. I told myself not to ignore my child anymore, because.. without we realise, one day our child will not manja-manja with us anymore. They will grew up and if salah didik, they might left us forever. After that day, I tried my best to layan her attitude and spent quality time with her at home. I want her to felt blessed with Love. If I can be nice to other people in office or outside, why I cant do that with my own child?

    Children is too precious. Be patient eventhough me myself is not a perfect parent..but I'll try to be the best to her.

    Until now.. Hang on there ya..its just a wonderful journey of parenting.

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  9. owh...u guys are great. thanks for the support. I'm ok now. I will find my 'me' time. Thank God hubby is really a great parent too. Maybe that's why i don't mind having another one now. hehe..

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  10. thank God u r ok .. well, i have 3 kids of my own and let me tell u.. the joys and perils of seeing them growing up is something u cannot buy.. they r priceless and we mothers have this privilege bestowed on us..

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